The NFL Lockout

Sportscasters are trumpeting a judge’s decision to end the NFL training facilities lockout as ‘a huge win for the players’. The NFL owners had locked out the players from training facilities in relation to a contract dispute with players. This happens every few years, when the players realize that the owners are shrewd business people who find new ways to make money and they want a slice of the pie. Invariably, some barely literate running back makes an on-camera reference to modern day slavery then drives off in his $150,000 car. But back to the lockout: Owners must unlock the doors to the training facility, but they do not have to unlock the weight room, the players can’t interact with the coaches, and there is no supervision for practice facilities. This is ‘huge win for the players’? What would a meaningless win look like?

Sportscasters are so far in the tank for players that it’s getting hard to even pretend to be objective. After all, they make their living off of athletes. Nobody tunes in to SportsCenter to see highlights of an NFL owner's day, but everybody wants to follow around a star quarterback, find out what he eats for breakfast, what’s on his iPod, etc. Most of us in the non-sports world have the same opinion, that the players are a bunch of spoiled ingrates who should be thankful that they get to play a game and get paid for it. We all work for our money, even if nobody shows up to watch us.

I propose we scrap the NFL and start over with a Revised Football League, or RFL. In the RFL, all rookies make at most $250K for their first year. After all, they haven’t played a down in the pros, and we can point to lots of ‘really good college players’ like Ryan Leaf, Amerces Russell, Archie Griffin, Chris Weinke, Danny Wuerffel, who were busts in the pros. After the first year, players who played at least 10 downs in the pros are eligible for a new contract. If this is unfair, athletes are free to pursue a more lucrative job based on their fine college education. The highest salary for any player will be $2M, but they can earn incentives on top of this. For example, a defensive lineman might earn $100K for each sack. A running back might earn $100K for each 100 yard game. Kickers might earn $1K per yard on field goals. This makes the old association of pay and performance. Quaint, isn’t it?

I’m sure the current crop of NFL players would wail and cry about how unfair it is, but the public will survive for a season or two (or five or six) without pro football. And in about five years, all the best college athletes will be euphoric about the opportunity to make $250K playing a game they love. If they aren’t, they can always pursue a more lucrative job based on their fine college education.