The Underwear Bomber

On Christmas day, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab boarded a plane in Amsterdam headed for Detroit. He had no luggage, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t packin’. Stashed in his underwear – that’s right: HIS UNDERWEAR – was a six-inch pack of highly-explosive powder called PETN. After sitting on the plane for 8 hours, with 80 grams of explosives IN HIS UNDERWEAR, he went to the lavatory, prepped some liquid in a small container and returned to his seat to mix them in an attempt to cause an explosion large enough to crash the airliner.

I would not attempt to diminish the seriousness of either Umar’s intentions or the security lapse that let him get on the plane. But you have to admit, there is a humorous side to this. It’s too bad this happened when Letterman and Leno were on Christmas break, otherwise I’m sure we would have seen the top 10 things overhead from Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab’s row in on NW flight 253:

10: “Is that a bomb in your pants or are you just happy to be here?”
9: “Dang this explosive power is itchy!”.
8: “Bomber? I don’t even know her! Hahahahaha!”
7: “Northwest? I thought this was Virgin Atlantic! Actually, 70 Virgins Atlantic!”
6: “Here's a hypothetical question: If a bomb went off in Detroit, would anyone know?”
5: “Stop me if you’ve heard this one: A priest, a rabbi and a muslim all get on a plane…”
4: “…and here’s a picture of me and Bin Laden snow boarding…”
3: “I’m trying a new brand of underwear: Fruit of the BOOM!”
2: “No, I don’t need a ride downtown. Come to think of it, neither will you”

And the #1 conversation overhead on NW Flight 253:

1: “You thought yours was silent but deadly? Check this out!”

And how, exactly, did they recruit Umar for this job? He was an engineering student in London, so he was not uneducated. I’m sure he believed in the Jihad and the need for taking down the Great Satan. But how do you get an educated guy to stuff explosives down his pants and sit on it for 8 hours? At some point there had to be a conversation:

Recruiter: “Well Umar, it’s time to share with you the details of your mission.”
Abdulmutallab: “I am ready to die for the cause and receive the awards that await me on the other side”
Recruiter: “Uh,, yeah. About those rewards: I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is that you will get 70 virgins. The bad news is that the bomb is going to blow up your crotch”

The only reason we can joke at all is because nobody was hurt in Umar's failed attempt. When he tried to mix the chemicals to cause an explosion, he created enough of a reaction to set his pants on fire and burn his leg. Thankfully, an alert passenger deduced what was happening and pounced on the terrorist, preventing him from doing any further damage. All kidding aside, Obama had better take this attempt seriously and take the right measures to step up security. The next attempt might not leave us anything to joke about.